BY THE AUSTIN-AMERICAN-STATESMAN
“Hallelujah. Holy (expletive). Where’s the Tylenol?”
As foul-mouthed holiday rants go, a couple of Chevy Chase’s — as family man Clark Griswold in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” — are up there.
Oh, they’re not as intentionally offensive as Steve Martin’s rental car counter tirade in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” (he drops the f-bomb 18 times, if you’re counting). Nor are they as endearing as Peter Billingsley’s “Only I didn’t say fudge” from “A Christmas Story.” And let’s not even mention Jimmy Stewart’s filthy diatribe in the uncensored version of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Like Santa’s sleigh, “Christmas Vacation” flies under the radar. It’s nowhere near as popular as those other holiday mainstays, but that’s OK — with its unvarnished look at the impossibly high expectations and nonstop pressure of the holidays, it works best as a cult classic, anyway. Much like Clark, it’s a perpetual underdog.
If you’re a fan of the film, take this 20-question quiz to see just how closely you’ve watched. And if you’ve never seen it, get your “cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, (expletive)less, hopeless, heartless, fat-(expletive), bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey (expletive)” self to the big box store bargain bin.
The sanitized ABC Family version’s just not as much fun.